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Saying goodbye to a SEGA legend [Parody/News]

**This is a parody news post largely for entertainment purposes & not exactly safe for work**

This one… This one hurts.

Sonic Universe issue 45 featuring AiAi, Beat, Vyse, and… Danica Patrick

On Friday, SEGA fans all over the world mourned the loss of a time-honored SEGA icon, Danica Patrick.* Patrick had long, storied career with SEGA, making appearance in both Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Transformed and the Sonic Universe comic tie-in for Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Transformed.

Danica Patrick will also be remembered for her contributions to the marketing world, revolutionizing commercials in sexy fashion for Internet hosting company, Go Daddy. She would also be remembered by SEGA fans for her knocking Toejam & Earl out of the roster for Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Transformed, but she was roundly forgiven on account of her being smoking hot.

You may notice some diehard SEGA fans having a rough time dealing with this, so please be kind to those in the broader SEGA community who are coping with such a shocking, devastating loss. It’s never easy to say goodbye. Sometimes it’s even very, very hard. Like rock hard…

RIP … and Happy International Mens’ Day!!!

*UPDATE: Upon further research, it was actually announced Friday that Danica Patrick was, in fact, only retiring from NASCAR, not that she had died. At least now I can feel less like a necrophiliac when I pay tribute to all my screencaptured Go Daddy commercials. To the printer!

Source: The Washington Post

 

The Requiem

Having grown up with a SEGA Master System, The Requiem has been a lifelong SEGA fan. Favorite SEGA games include: Gunstar Heroes, Shinobi III, the House of the Dead: Overkill, Jet Set Radio, & Alex Kidd in Miracle World. Other game favorites include: Super Metroid (SNES), Tempest 2000 (Atari Jaguar), Mortal Kombat (Arcade) and Superbrothers: Sword and Sworcery (iOS). The Requiem exists digitally as @UnboundRequiem on Twitter.

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