Welcome, welcome SEGA Nerds to yet another thrilling installment of One on One with the Requiem. As it so happens, I find myself to indeed be the Requiem, your host. If you missed last month’s interview celebrating 25 years of the SEGA Genesis, you can brush up on that intense exchange right here.
September 9th marks the fifteenth anniversary of the SEGA Dreamcast, so I thought I’d dust off my old buddy and see how he’s doing. Yep, that’s right. Our guest this month is the little white box that could, the bright flame that burned out too fast, SEGA’s final home console, the SEGA Dreamcast.
The Requiem: How are you, old friend?
Dreamcast: Hey, Requiem. I’m okay, I think.
The Requiem: Cool. So let’s start off with your launch. 9-9-99. Fifteen years, man, damn. Seems like yesterday. So what are your favorite memories from that time?
Dreamcast: Hm… That’a a good question… Hm…
The Requiem: Do… you need me to repeat the question?
Dreamcast: Oh, no, no. Uh, while I consider my answer though, maybe you could tell us about what you remember?
The Requiem: Ooookay. I remember that in the few years before then, I really didn’t play games all that much. I really didn’t care much for new 3D games in those days. Whether they were Final Fantasy VII on PlayStation or Super Mario 64 on the Nintendon’t 64, I thought they looked like garbage and essentially took a gaming hiatus for a couple of years. But when I first saw a Dreamcast demo unit at a local mall, that all changed. The Sonic Adventure opening was playing, and I was blown away. Not only did it represent a 3D game that finally looked awesome, but this was also Sonic’s big return in years since he never got a proper release on the Saturn. I think I might have pre-ordered my console that day. You?
Dreamcast: Uh, well, how about launch day itself, uh, for you?
The Requiem: Well, I remember that the only time I have ever run my car out of gas was on September 9th, 1999, because I was so excited and in such a rush to pick you up that I ran it completely dry. I know I got Sonic Adventure on day one, and soon after I picked up both The House of the Dead 2 and Air Force Delta, both of which I really enjoyed at the time. I also remember getting my fill of Soul Calibur, Mortal Kombat Gold and NFL 2K over at my brother’s place. Enough about me though, what do you remember most about those early days? Got an answer yet?
Dreamcast: Yeah, uh, pretty much the same as you, I guess.
The Requiem: …Really? That’s all you’ve got?
Dreamcast: Huh… yeah. I think so.
The Requiem: Alrighty then, moving on. You had a good 200 or so US releases over your time. Got a favorite game? Before you pawn that one off on me, though, I can’t really talk about my own favorite game because I think we’re doing another site-wide roundtable on the subject. No spoilers!
Dreamcast: I see. I see… So, huh, my favorite game… Hm… That’s tough. There were so many to choose from. Hm… Huh…
The Requiem: If you can’t narrow it down to one, just spit out a few of your favorites.
Dreamcast: Hurm. Let’s see… Huh…
The Requiem: Any game you really liked.
Dreamcast: Huh… Er…
The Requiem: Any game you remember fondly.
Dreamcast: Uh, what was that one? You know, the one with the disc?
The Requiem: You mean every Dreamcast game ever?
Dreamcast: No! The one with those guys! You know…
The Requiem: Kiss: Psycho Circus?
Dreamcast: Yeah! That one!
The Requiem: Your favorite game was frickin’ Kiss: Psycho Circus?
Dreamcast: Uh… no, uh… but… hm…
The Requiem: Oh, for Christ’s sake! Next question. You were the only SEGA console released in the US with the white as your primary color. Do you have any thoughts on that? Did that make you feel special or a little left out?
Dreamcast: Uh… well… wait! Won’t I sound a little racist if I answer that question either way?
The Requiem: Oh Lord! Have you never read anything on SEGA Nerds? It’s not like we strive to be politically correct here, or journalists… or decent, responsible human beings. Now, Honkey McCracker, do you have white guilt or a white power superiority complex?
Dreamcast: Uh… well, when you put it like that… er…
The Requiem: Saying nothing will be an answer for “white power superiority complex” by default.
Dreamcast: Uh! Um… Uh…
The Requiem: Okay, you racist bastard, let’s march along. You introduced several innovations into the gaming industry, such as online gaming, dual-screen gaming on a console via VMU, maraca controllers, even the first fishing controller produced by a first party. Tell us, to what do you owe your innovative spirit?
Dreamcast: Huh. Wow. Uh…
The Requiem: Jesus Christ, forget it! Next question! Despite the most successful launch in history at the time, and a steady stream of really solid software, your active lifespan in the US only lasted just over two years. What do you think is the primary reason for that? The insane hype over the PlayStation 2? Software piracy? Terrorism?
Dreamcast: Uh… hm…. That’s another good question. What was the last option again?
The Requiem: Terrorism?
Dreamcast: Okay, yeah, that one.
The Requiem: All right, dammit! I’ve only got one last question and I will get a sincere, honest answer out of you. So, there is a thriving underground community still developing games for the Dreamcast, including games like Sturmwind, SLaVE, Elysian Shadows, Dux 1.5 and Pier Solar, just to name a few. How does that make you feel?
The Requiem: We’re waiting.
Dreamcast: Hmmm… Well….
The Requiem: Any day now.
Dreamcast: Hm… Let me… Let me just…
The Requiem: Dammit, man! DAMMIT! What is so tough about this? Why can’t you just come up with an answer!? What on earth could you possibly still be thinking a… about…? No. No! NO! Are you telling me that this interview was just one big setup for a single gag! Shit! ONE GAG?! “It’s still thinking…” F–k this! Worst interview ever.